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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Wanna' be a Working Writer?

J.K. Rowlings' Loose Change
I suppose my Artistic Statement can’t simply be:

I want to make bags of cash writing novels, so I can stop working two jobs to pay for food, water, and soccer shoes for my kids. 
I want to be that elusive beast; 
The Working Writer.

After mind bending hours of revision, I believe I have written my Artistic Statement. I also believe it may be too salesy and not enough artsy. And it is not long. In fact, I would deem it short.

I believe this may be a problem.

I am in the midst of drafting my very first literary grant application. It took me less than 3.5 minutes to learn that each granting agency, much like every publisher, requires something a wee bit different. The first needs a 500 word essay. The next, a 252 word Artistic Statement. But most want a Project Proposal. Which makes sense. 

Those holding the money bags need to know why you can't write your book without their moolah. 

For example; if you are planning a research trip to Bali in typhoon season, they need to know the reasons behind your  insanity best laid plans. Like a bookie at the Assiniboia Downs Racetrack, they're hedging their bets that you'll be the next Governor General recipient. (Or at least sell through your first 5,000 book print run.)

...and then off to Bali. Note to self; pack an umbrella.

The Manitoba Arts Council allows for two pages to complete their Project Proposal. Two pages. That seems far too generous. I believe I will need two, possibly three lines. Four lines max, if I use Jokerman 16 point font. (I believe Times New Roman is overrated.)

Gack. I mean, Gack.
Thankfully, I am well prepared for this Grant App Challenge. 
Edie Brickell's jazzy tunes waft through the house, a heaping bowl of peanut M&M's keeps me energized and awake, and my daughters have gone to bed without complaint. 

And yes, I realize that writing this blog post is not helping to complete the actual grant application that I am blogging about. I may need help. And good Karma. And luck. Yes. Wish me luck.

P.S. I have no clue who or what this dude is. I typed in luck and clip art presented me with him. Or her. Whatevs. All I know is, if he's lucky then pass me a toga, a recorder, and large vat of dippy-do hair gel. I'm getting my luck on.


  1. Your dude is a fertility god known by his friends as kokopelli. He is also a trickster god and represents the spirit of music.And sometimes a bringer of interesting things. So luck? yeah, pretty much. ;)