Friday 21 June 2013

What the...what?!

"Uhm, excuse me. I must confess...."
Okay, for those of you who don't know me well, here's the real truth. I have ADHD. When I first "outed" myself over on the Little Pickle Press website I was nervous and concerned about revealing too much of my inner workings.

It turned out that no one really cared that my grey matter differed from the "norm." Either people weren't at all surprised by my big "ta-da this is me confessional," or they could see all the perks that come along with a racing in a million directions, thinking outside the box mind like mine.

I was diagnosed as an adult, so I had a lot of catching up to better understand what is really going on in my noggin'. My favourite resource is Dr. Ned Hallowell, ADHD guru and fellow ADDer. Recently he posted a list of 50 Tips for the non-medication treatment of ADHD in adults.

Click here to read the whole list.

What I found incredibly surprising was the section on Mood Management. In particular tips #35 to 37 made me hyper-focus. Which means I did more than skim these points for the executive summary. I actually read each line.

What Dr. Hallowell shared was that there is a common cycle among adults with ADHD:  

"Something “startles” your psychological system, a change or transition, a disappointment or even a success. The precipitant may be quite trivial. This “startle” is followed by a mini-panic with a sudden loss of perspective, the world being set topsy-turvy. You try to deal with this panic by falling into a mode of obsessing and ruminating over one or another aspect of the situation. This can last for hours, days, even months."

Tissue, anyone?
These are the ADHD blues.

We are to expect depression after success.

Uhm pardon?

Yuppers, folks with ADHD often feel depressed after a big success.  

"This is because the high stimulus of the chase or the challenge or the preparation is over. The deed is done. Win or lose, the adult with ADHD misses the conflict, the high stimulus, and feels depressed."

When I read this I thought, "What the...what?! That has been happening my entire life!"

(Anyone else notice this dude seems to be missing an eyeball?)
It was like a missing puzzle piece slipped into place and now I know myself even better.

These ADHD blues are where I slip into a funk and stall. My writing pace slows, my brain gellyfies and I dwell on all the loose ends that need doing, yet they still don't actually get done because a serious triple dose of procrastination takes over.  Totally frustrating.


My book launch was a roaring success, and I had numerous tv and radio interviews, but by the time I was finished with all the excited hooplah, my hoop felt blah. I was spent. My blogpost about my tv interviews remains partially written. I slowed...down...to...a...stop. Of course, this was exactly when I started a second job. And my writing program was in full swing.

Then I stressed and obsessed over that blog post, which morphed into procrastinating about calling the school division to enquire about getting Spaghetti into the hands of teachers and spread like poison ivy onto the most crucial "to-do" on my list: 

When would I find the time to take the kids shopping for bathing suits? 
(And did you know my eldest daughter needs pants and I am too busy to take her shopping????) 
Yes, I am that kind of mother.

But now, I feel myself coming out the other side of those blahs, and back into the thick of it!

Look out world, my cheetah fast brain is ready...to...gooooooo!


That's my inner cheetah racing. Except I would have my bionic-women knee braces on all four of my furry legs.



2 comments:

  1. I completely understand how you feel.

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  2. I really love your blog..I love to read all your post here..

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